Judgement: What Have I Done?
by Lady Mear
Summary: It’s the first night back at Hogwarts and Albus thinks about Harry and Neville, the past and the future. Set in the Judgement Universe. Contains spoilers.


**Authors Note**: This is an interlude from Judgement that takes place on the first night back at Hogwarts. Albus thinks about Harry and Neville, the past and the future.

**Disclaimer**: I am making no money from this. Anything recognised from Harry Potter belongs to JKR and her affiliates. Anything from the various religions comes from them and probably belongs to them. Anything totally unrecognisable is the result of my warped imagination and perverted sense of justice. No animals, humans, demons, angels, gods, witches, wizards or giant squids were harmed in the writing of this work of fan-fiction.

**Judgement**

**What Have I Done?**

The storm raged around my school and the lightening filled shadowy corners with the fading memory of nightmares. Light, magic or otherwise would have driven them away but in a moment of masochistic folly I had not allowed myself any. Instead, I sit here, in a throne-like chair behind a desk fit for a king, both memoirs of a distant, more glorious past when light was good and dark was evil and it was all black and white.

It wasn't really. The past I mean. It wasn't anymore black and white then it is now, but the Golden Age of Hogwarts when our society was led by Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw and dare I admit it? Salazar Slytherin holds a sway over even the most analytical and mundane minds of our world.

Another flash of lightening illuminates my office and I see the silhouette of a young boy, small and thin in the corner; Harry Potter, age eleven. The roar of thunder reminds me vividly of his anger at the end of last term. Only two months ago really, but a lot can happen in two months. A child can die.

I slump a bit in my chair. My age is catching up on me, I think. I have so much to do, so much to organise, but all I want to do is sit here and try not to think, but I cannot stop myself. Harry Potter is dead. The prophecy therefore must relate to Neville Longbottom, as bizarre as that sounds. The boy has never shown the remarkable resourcefulness of Harry. Nor has he shown any of the leadership qualities that drew others to the Boy-Who-Lived. And what of the mark? The boy isn't scarred in any way that I can see, unless you count the emotional scars of his upbringing.

Emotional scars… so like Harry's. Although Harry's were my fault and I gladly accept any condemnation sent my way for them. I did what I thought best. The prophecy did not state that Voldemort's Bane would be light and for the sake of the future I had to make sure he was. Another Dark Lord could not be allowed to appear in Riddle's wake. The people needed a Hero. Someone untarnished by the war. Someone light and pure that they could believe in and could put their faith in. I had to ensure that the Child of the Prophecy would be that person and to that end, I made the choices I did.

I have been told numerous times that I didn't have the _right_ to make those choices. Sirius and Remus had both made their opinions clear on that before… before the Department of Mysteries. For that matter, so has Minerva. I think Minerva understood, to a certain extent, why I did what I did. She may not have agreed, but I think she understood, otherwise I doubt she would have let the matter drop. Leaving Harry to be abused was not something I liked doing. No! Not at all. I willingly denounce myself along with the Dursleys for that! It was necessary for Harry to grow up believing himself worth less though, so that when the time came he would sacrifice everything to save us. That was how it had to be, for him to be a real _Hero._ But he was the wrong child! I lower my head into my hands, feeling my shoulders shake. No tears fall though. I cried myself out years ago, long before even James and Lily were born! I condemned the wrong child! How could I have been so careless? It made sense, everything was neatly wrapped up and presented tied in a yellow and pink polka-dot bow and I just accepted it! Without a thought! I should have looked closer, for any discrepancy. I must have missed something. Harry wasn't the One.

Which of course, brings me back to Longbottom. Average student, but then so was Harry. Unlike Harry though, the boy has no known talents, unless you count herbology. It's a fine subject, just not much use in a war, not unless we can trap Voldemort in Devil's Snare or something… That might work… I don't remember Riddle having much interest in the subject. I cast my mind back… Riddle got an 'O' in his OWLs. I remember that much simply because he got 'O's in everything, but I don't think he took it for NEWTs. That doesn't mean much though. Riddle studied many subjects on his own.

The boy hasn't been particularly enthusiastic about the situation, I must admit. Even my offers of extra training aren't being received well. He will have to learn occulmuncy, but I'm sure Severus can handle that as long as he doesn't make the same mistake that Harry did. Harry really shouldn't have looked. On the other hand, Severus _did _leave the pensieve out so he would. He knew Harry better then either of them would admit. I can't help the small smile at the many complaints Severus brought to me about James Potter's son.

Alastor and Remus can take over the physical side of things, I think. It will be good for Remus to have something else to think about. He can apply all the feelings from Harry's death to training the boy so he doesn't die as well. Miss Granger will also be invaluable, I imagine. With Harry's death, she will be more inclined to prevent the boy from doing anything foolish. I'll have to mention him to her in the right context though. It will only support his position if he takes Harry's place in the Golden Trio.

Yes… it's for the best. He must be prepared.

A small bell chimes and an image appears in the mist beneath it. I nod once, it was only a matter of time. Some things, after all, never change. I flick my wand and turn on the lights, popping a lemon drop into my mouth as the door opens.

"Ah, Severus, lemon drop?"

"No thank you Headmaster, I want to talk to you about this Tristan Daimonas person."

Yes, some things never change.


End file.
